Friends, maybe

It took me about 35 minutes to get him to sit down and read the first question on his homework assignment, but after an hour of tutoring my most uncontrollable student in the dormitories tonight, we high-fived when he got his 2's multiplication tables. Then he broke my heart. "Maybe, you think, if I memorize my multiplication, the girls in class, and the boys, maybe they'll like me, as a friend?"

Comments

[Phil Nash]

Rock musician Warren Zevon ("The Werewolves of London"), when he was dying of cancer, said that he wished he had "enjoyed every sandwich." It looks to me like you are already doing that at a much earlier stage of life than poor Warren.

It is funny how we tend to overlook the times when things go perfectly, when everything is as expected, and remember when the universe was out of balance. I remember visiting my grandparents in Springfield, Massachusetts many times, but the event that sticks out in my mind is the time it snowed so hard that we were forced to abandon our car, climb out the window, and walk down the block to their house. Similarly, I had a great three weeks at a Boy Scout Jamboree in Japan many years ago, but the highlight was being evacuated to a Buddhist temple in a military convoy when a typhoon hit.

There is a zen you sense when life gets simpler and the bright lights and flashy friends recede into the background. The little girl coming around expecting only to say hello is a messenger from the universe, reminding you that good-ness and simplicity still exist.

Give her a cookie next time she comes over, but don't worry too much about the commodities. This is a "gift relationship" not in the anthropological sense of back-and-forth relationship-building, but in the purest sense of one tiny human being trying to prove that she is alive and worthy to her new neighbor.

Take a deep breath, and enjoy the day!